Faith

why I deleted facebook {and some thoughts to chew on}

May 6, 2013 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 7 Comments

I have two posts on my heart that need to be written, and they kind of go hand-in-hand, but I think I’ll start with this one…

On why I’m choosing to disconnect, so to speak, from the world. Why I deleted the facebook app from my phone this weekend.

You see, I’ve been on facebook since the end of 2004, when only certain universities had it, and all the class electives made ensuring we got it part of their campaign. Seriously. That’s almost 9 years. It has changed drastically over the past decade, but it has also started to change me. And that is precisely why I decided to delete.

You may remember, that my word for the year is “intentional” meaning, I wanted to focus on being intentional on every aspect of my life this year. Intentional with how I spend my time is a big part of this… I want to be PRESENT! To truly take in and taste life, not just watch it pass by and see pictures of it on facebook – I want to taste it! Touch it! LIVE it!

Sure, it has many many positive features. It allows me to still shine my light in hopes of uplifting others. It allows me to know and stay in contact with family and friends all over the country. I am able to share pictures and stories of Elizabeth for aunts and cousins to see and enjoy. I utilize it very heavily in my business, and it is the meeting place and filing cabinet for all of our information…

But to me, it became an addiction. A time-sucking, mind-wasting addiction.

I don’t know a single person that doesn’t wish for more hours in the day.Yet, how many hours do we honestly waste away on facebook every single day|week|month|year?!? We have the same amount of hours in our day that the greatest people and accomplishers had/have in theirs!

This, is somewhat relevant, and a whole lot of convicting, but this speaks measures to me! And let’s be honest, how many people sleep a solid eight hours at night?

[This is where I air my dirty laundry]

You see, over the past year, maybe two, I find myself spending so much of my precious time there during the day. My phone is on my bed at night, tucked under my pillow. The phone isn’t the problem – it’s facebook. It is the very last thing I check before bed, and it is the very first thing I check when I wake up. And I’ll be honest, if I wake up during the night, I click that little “f” on my home screen. If I’m driving down the road and a notification pops up, I check it. If I’m at the grocery store and someone sends me a message, I stop in the aisle to check it. If Elizabeth is playing quietly (and even when she isn’t), I find myself scrolling through the pages. Almost as soon as Andrew gets home from work, I escape to the bedroom for just a “few minutes” which essentially turns into 10-20 while I zone out and like, share, and comment on almost meaningless things. Meaningless, because they truly have NO effect on my life.

This weekend I just got SICK of it. Physically, threw my phone across the floor and said, “I’m done… I can’t do this anymore”.

Elizabeth is growing before my very eyes, except my eyes are too stuck on that stupid app to see it happening. I could (should) be spending that 20 minutes of escape time that I need in the evenings reading His word, or praying for my family. It would still provide the quiet, me time that I crave. I should be thanking God for a new morning instead of checking the latest gossip on facebook as soon as I wake up. I should be snuggled up, nurturing my marriage at night instead of replying to comments and just totally stupid stuff!

The comments and posts I see in the morning set the tone for my entire day. I am just not productive.

Above, I stated that it is an addiction to me, and from the thread I created on our RATR Community Page, and from talking to many of my business partners, I understand that it is for many of you as well! It may not be the kind of addiction that can physically threaten your life. But I assure you – it can be the type that can threaten your most precious relationships! And rid you of time you will never have again with your children!

I get it, I really do… It is my basic means of communication throughout the day. It is how I keep up with my fast growing team. It is the most utilized tool for growing my business and blog, and essentially earning an income. HOWEVER, social media should work for US! We should not work for it!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not stepping away all together. I still have my account active. But, I am choosing to be much more cautious of my time there. The app is no longer on my phone. If I want to check messages, communicate with my friends/family/team members, or share what’s on my heart, then I will do that on my computer during “work” hours (meaning before Bean wakes up, which I use to check emails, and also during her nap/quiet time) and during my rare free time in the evening (but only, if it isn’t taking away time from my husband). Also, this will not change what you see posted on the Ring Around the Rosies page. I will still be posting there (again, during certain hours), and pushing pictures over from instagram.

I posted on my facebook last night after I deleted it, and I shared an abbreviated version of this post… You can see that I created quite a small revolution…

And just like I said in that last comment, so far, I do not miss it at all!!! IT IS SO FREEING to me! I don’t feel like a slave to my phone anymore. I am no longer checking my facebook all day to see what people are talking about. To see if anyone has commented on a picture. To see how many “likes” something has. This morning, instead of spending those 10-15 minutes of facebook before getting up, I read the Bible! Started my day and my mood so perfectly! I have already been so much more productive. I don’t have that “stuck” feeling like I normally had…

This is essentially a brand new era. The technology age. We have NO idea what the effects will be on us, on our children, on our grandchildren, and that scares the crap out of me. I will be a slave no more!

Positive thoughts and comments are encouraged…

Filed Under: balance, Faith, on my heart, simplify

bitter-sweet days

April 9, 2013 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 4 Comments

Tonight, after a few beautiful days in a row, that we’ve spent either running all around town or inside packing, we took a nice break after supper to just play. I walked out to just sit on the porch swing – to reclaim my thoughts and clarity and to let Elizabeth play in the rocks (her favorite).

This whole move is bitter-sweet. Don’t get me wrong, we are ecstatic for a new adventure. For a positive change. And to live in our dream house. But this house has been quite special for us, too. It was our safe-haven when our worlds were collapsing. It was our peaceful little home that we brought our daughter home to. It was our saving-grace when we desperately needed to learn to think like a two percenter and challenge ourselves to pay off all of our debt in one year. We made this house our home. Before we moved in, it was a 1970s trailer with green carpet, paneled walls, wavy floors, and little love. The improvements we did, and the joy we filled it with made it a home – a great home.

Beyond the boxes and little piles of things that need to go into boxes, looking in from the swing, I thought about all the meals we’d had at that table. The times we’d had more guests than chairs. How, even when Elizabeth was first born, she sat at the table with us for dinner. I thought about all the painting and “art” Elizabeth and I had done there. The many times, I’ve chased her around and around it trying to catch her for bath time. How she use to crawl across the wood floors in hopes of catching the dog. I thought about the hundreds of times I’ve told her to “don’t climb on the window”, and how I was sure the dog would scratch her way through it one day. I remembered the nights Elizabeth would watch for her Daddy to come home and squeal with excitement when he arrived. And the mornings he use to go in late, and we’d watch him leave from breakfast as he waved goodbye and honked.

I thought about the hours we had spent trying to do something with this yard. About the neighbors dog that wouldn’t stay out of my flower beds. About how the yard looked when we moved in, and about the night last summer I finally dug up the remaining of the sidewalk. I smiled as I saw Elizabeth playing and thought about the times she begged to go “ouside”.

I remembered all the parties we had on this front porch. It seems like every time we planned a party for our larger back deck, it poured rain. At one time, on CJ’s last birthday party, we had like 15+ people on this porch. I’ll never forget those nights. We’ve had many, many bbq’s served on this porch. I remember walking up the steps with baby Elizabeth on the day we came home from the hospital. I recall sitting on the front steps 8 months pregnant to take a break from painting and renovating, because we didn’t have chairs in our house yet. Thousands of bubbles have been blown in the past couple years from this swing. Lots of blog posts have been written on this porch. Tons of coaching calls have happened here, in the quiet escape from the busy house. But even before we lived here, I remember playing on it as a child (it is my aunt and uncles home in case you didn’t know). I remember CJ, as a toddler, finding money my Paw-Paw would hide in the “money tree”, which is what we still call the tree Andrew & Bean are standing by. I also remember my mama driving her huge clunker car to pick us up in the afternoon, when we stayed with my aunt. There have been lots of hide-n-seek games played behind the trees in this yard. By my generation, and Elizabeth’s.

But now, we’re on to our next adventure. Ready to make NEW memories. To hopefully raise our children and grandchildren in a home we loved before we walked in (you know that “this is it” feeling?). Soon, the walls and walls of boxes will be moved to our new home, and this home will be passed on to another family to create memories in.

Throughout this whole process, I just keep singing, Building 429’s song. (on a side note, their lead singer is our current worship pastor, and we will sorely miss our church).

I’ve sang this song, the entirety of our stay in this house. We knew, going in it would just be a temporary home. We had no idea how long we would live here, but we are thankful for the almost three years we’ve had here.

Filed Under: Faith, our house, This is Us

thankful

November 22, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | Leave a Comment

I am thankful for so much. My heart is seriously full.

Things are definitely not perfect, we have our heartaches and hardships like any other family. Part of my resolutions this year was to rid my life and my home of anything negative. We are choosing to focus on the positives that we have, instead of the things that we don’t. And let me tell you the surreal peace and happiness that has come from that.

I am thankful for my family. I have been so richly blessed. I may not have my mom anymore, but I have aunts and cousins who take such good care of me and Elizabeth.

God gave me an amazing husband. He is the hardest working man I have ever known. He is annoyingly perfect at everything he does, and always goes waaaay beyond whatever the task at hand is. For instance, if he scores a 98 on a test and has a chance to retake it, he will – just to get those 2 extra points, even though he already has an A. He is a master carpenter, an IT guru, a SSG in the US Army, an amazing pianist, a former volunteer fire fighter, an expert marksman, He works full time, does Army on the weekends, takes 4 classes a semester (and maintains a 4.0), and still has time to be the best daddy and husband there is!

I am thankful for my perfect daughter, and God’s timing. She is overflowing in personality. She is healthy, and growing (slowly). She has such a kind heart and never lets us forget to say prayers before meals and bedtime. I am so glad God decided to give me the opportunity to be her Mommy!

I am thankful for Shaklee and my incredible team! I LOVE all of the girls on there so much. It’s hard to believe I didn’t know any of them 16 months ago, and now they’re among my best friends! I am thankful for the opportunity to make a full time income from home working during Elizabeth’s naptime.

I am thankful for this blog – my outlet – and the community that has formed here the past year. Y’all are incredible women. I love hearing your stories and getting to know you. I am thankful for the chance to share my own story and ideas, in hopes of helping even one of you.

I am thankful for this free country. Regardless of who is in office, I am thankful for the freedoms we still have, the rights we are guaranteed, and all of the men and women who have fought and continue to fight to ensure we are protected.

I am thankful for my health, my talents, my abilities, and all of the little things we so often take for granted such as our warm home we complain is too little, and the fridge we complain is too empty. I’m thankful for the vehicles we complain are too expensive to fill up, and for the clean roads we complain are too bumpy.

So what about you? What are you thankful for this holiday?

Filed Under: Faith, Our Family, thanksgiving, This is Us

sunday

October 21, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 1 Comment

Apologies for being a little MIA last week. You know the sayin’ your mama probably taught you about “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”… well let’s just say the past two weeks have been tough.

I have such a love/hate relationship for fall. It is beautiful and full of festivities, but September through January are just rough for me. Sept = CJ’s birthday, Oct = Mom’s birthday, Nov = Thanksgiving, Dec = the anniversary of the accident and Christmas, Jan = my birthday… It’s all grouped together…

This week, we laid the 9th (of 10) of my grandmother’s siblings to rest. I know she was ready, she’s had a rough couple of years, and even though it was expected, and we know she is so much better off, it was still hard. Hard to believe her generation is almost completely gone. Hard to walk back in the same parlor at the funeral home where I last kissed Mom & CJ. But even out of all the pain, I am so very thankful for our family and the many many great memories. We are definitely one of a kind. Huge, but veryvery close. We may not see each other every weekend anymore, but we all we have each other’s back!

Here’s a look through the past week for you!

Lots of snuggles and errands. Freezer cooking and crafting. Bonfires with friends and packing boxes for operation Christmas child. Working and playing.

Here’s to a brand new week.

Filed Under: Faith, grief, Our Family, This is Us

vegas bound {with excitement and worry}

August 5, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | Leave a Comment

I have been planning this trip on and off since January. Shaklee has been gracious enough to invite me out to their annual global conference to recognize my achievements on stage. About a month ago I finally talked myself into committing to going not just for all of the training and growing I could personally use, but because I know I need to set the example for my rapidly growing team!

While I am honored and so incredibly excited, I am also worried about leaving my baby girl for the first time. She has never stayed with anyone for longer than a couple of hours at a time, so I am nervous for her. I think I will be fine. I know all mama’s need a break from time to time, and so I welcome the chance to grow and dance with friends in Vegas, but I am nervous that she will not understand and will miss me being with her 24-7.

As a work at home mom, I have to get use to traveling a little more now. There will be Blissdom in Dallas come March and other speaking engagements I have arranged as well. But I am still fearful.

The shootings this morning in Wisconsin have me even more rattled. I can’t shake the “what-ifs”. What if Elizabeth gets sick or hurt while I’m gone. Worse, what if something tragic happens to me on my travels? While I have complete and total faith that this is what God has called me to do right now, and while I know that if it’s my day to go – it won’t matter if I’m home playing with my baby or in Vegas, those thoughts still creep up.

Will Elizabeth know how much I love her? Will she remember all of the snuggles and the 10,000 books I’ve read? Will she remember the crazy hours we spend dancing around the house jamming out to “Jesus loves me” radio on Pandora? Will she remember the prayer I pray over her bed every night when I lay her down? Will she miss the midnight visits to her room just to make sure she is okay one last time? Will she continue to be fed good, whole foods? Will she remember the sound of my voice when I’ve sung “You are my Sunshine” for the millionth time? Will she remember the way I smell when we take a bubble bath together? Will she know how much she’s changed me? Will she know how much I love her?

Like I said, I know that God is in control, and I am sure that everything will be fine! I will go and learn and cross more achievements off my list, and Lord willing, return home next Sunday to a little girl happy to see her mama!

I will keep you updated via instagram and facebook while I am away! Please say a little prayer for us though?

Hope you all have a great week, too!!! I have a couple of fun posts lined up for you! Including one BIG post I wrote exclusively for Allora Handmade! Eeek!

while you’re here, check out:

how to get a handle on your time

reorganize and clean out beneath your sink

my favorite stuffed peppers (mexican style or italian)

Filed Under: Elizabeth, Faith, Mommy Moment, Shaklee, This is Us

bring the rain

July 29, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 4 Comments

This song use to play on my blog when it was just a personal blog (seems like eons ago now, but was really just a year)!

And it’s been on my heart all weekend. So I thought maybe some of you could be encouraged by it.

I hope you’ve had a fabulous weekend! Andrew left for a 1200 mile road trip Friday at 2:00p and made it back early this morning! Praise you Lord, for keeping him safe on his 33 hour 2400 trip… Elizabeth and I played and baked and took a dual bubble bath! And then last night we had a great dinner and time with amazing friends! Love our time together!

More later, enjoy the song. I’m off to enjoy the rest of my glorious weekend!

Filed Under: Faith, This is Us

truth is

July 22, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 17 Comments

truth is:
I let fear control me.
One of my greatest fears is Elizabeth losing her Mommy.
and vice versa.
I have shared about that before here.
truth is:
fear is one of the reasons I love to freezer cook. What if something happened to me?
I know people in my small southern town would bring food.
but then what? Let me be the first to tell you that the meals stop.
People go back to their normal lives, while yours is still standing still.
truth is:
The fresh vegetables that my Maw-Maw froze before she died were the best I ever ate.
I just finished the last jar of salsa Mama made a few months before she died.
there was comfort in that food.
it was hard to finish that last jar though, knowing there would never be another.
truth is:
the grief and fear engraved from my tragedy cannot be shaken.
while I trust in Christ and have faith that He is in control.
I act in fear.
truth is:
I’m not particularly happy about this.
I am embarrassed to say that it sometimes keeps me from leaving the house.
every thing I do has a “what if” attached to it..
we very rarely leave Elizabeth with anyone else.
truth is:
I grieve for the little girls and boys who lost their parents in the Colorado shootings last week.
I am always waiting for the next bad thing to happen.
Will I lose Andrew?
Will something dreadful happen to Elizabeth?

truth is:
It is inevitable. I know something will happen one day.
I am working on my fear. I am working on me.
I am trying to let go and move forward.
it is hard.

Filed Under: Faith, grief, This is Us, truth is

on my heart

July 15, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 2 Comments

This morning at church one of our worship leaders (have I mentioned how fabulous our worship is before?) mentioned how much this song had impacted him this past week before we started singing it.

And I couldn’t help but tear up (as I do often during worship). This song is so perfect. All of the crappy things that happen during the week, we are so tired, we are plum wore out and wore down. And then comes Sunday, and songs like this.

It is so incredible to think that God has the ability to reach down and put his arm around us and take all of the crap away. The past few weeks have been so buy and semi stressful around here (you know the kind – and if you don’t, you will), and there God was this morning to pick us up and remind us of His goodness and grace.

It is so true! I’ve told you already that this is OUR year. After a few really terrible tragic years, this is finally our year for improvements, and God is truly creating beautiful things out of our lives and FOR our lives.

He is making beautiful things out of us!

My hope for you this week is that you allow him to make beautiful things with your life.

Filed Under: Faith, on my heart, This is Us

mama

May 13, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 8 Comments

Today has been both joyful and hard. I am pretty good at masking the hurt, but the pit of my stomach and literal pain in my heart has been soothed with the blessings that keep overflowing.

We got to witness our niece and new nephew be dedicated to the Lord this morning by my brother-in-law and his wife. Such a special gift. After church Elizabeth gifted me with a three hour nap. Then we visited my grandma and aunts who treat me like their own. And my hubby treated me to dinner. All-in-all, it’s been a great day.

I am sooo blessed that God gave me my baby girl to mother. He couldn’t have given us one more perfect. She makes me everything I’ve ever dreamed of being. Every day I strive to be half of the incredible woman that mama was. I live to make her proud, and to let her legacy live on.

I raise Elizabeth on the same principals she brought me up on. And I try to remember everything she taught me about this hard life.

With the life she led by example, and taught me that love is worth fighting for. That it will be hard, but that the dinners at the table are worth it.

In a racist small town, she taught me that the only reason I am white is because God ran out of black paint, and that it didn’t matter who I married and loved as long as they weren’t alcoholics and didn’t hurt me.

She taught me that it is better to have a house full of love than a house full of stuff, and that we should make Christ the center of our home.

I’ll never forget her putting the last little change she had in a jar on the check out counter one Christmas. I knew things were penny to penny that year, so I couldn’t fathom giving it away to someone she didn’t know. She quickly told me that everything comes back in ten-fold and that every thing we do in our life we will be rewarded for – whether or in this life or the next.

In the mornings, I would often find her rocking on the front porch reading her Bible or devotionals. And what an inspiration that was. Looking back, I see her leading the way for ME to be led by Christ. I hope I can set that example for Elizabeth.

Any time I would have a bad dream she would calm me down and tell me to “think happy thoughts… think about Santa Claus and cupcake”. I now know that if you dwell on the negative, you will create negative. If you surround yourself with only “happy thoughts” you will create happiness.

Mama set the bar pretty high when it came to holidays and any entertaining function. I blame my OCD on her, but the results are always so worth it.

She taught me that if your child’s health depends on you scrubbing the baseboards of your 2,000 sq ft home, by all means it’s the least you better do. Your baby always comes first.

And even after she grows up and moves 1,000 miles away – she still comes first. You better still spoil her with Easter baskets and send her treats for her plane ride home.

Mama taught me to be a great cook, and taught me to always share it with others. Call a neighbor when you have leftovers, make two lasagnas at a time and freeze one in case somebody dies or has a new baby, invite friends over just because.

She didn’t teach me this by example – it was more of a “do what I say not as I do”, but she always told me “Don’t worry, be happy”. And I try so so hard to let things go now. Worry really doesn’t do any good. I now have those words on a canvas in Bean’s room.

Her life and marriage proved that she was one hell of a woman. She was so tough. Endured manymany physical and emotional turmoils. Her pediatric doctor’s said she would never walk, but she did. She hurt sooo bad the day of my college tour, but she walked the entire campus. We all thought she would finally throw in the towel on my drunk father, but she fought and prayed for all 25 years of their marriage. She never gave up. Not until the moment her heart quit beating, did she stop fighting and hurting. How could someone with so many internal injuries from the wreck be conscience and awake? She was such a fighter.

She taught me so many things. I can say that I was more blessed in my short 23 years with her than some girls are in an entire life time. I am forever grateful for MY mama. She was the strongest, most faithful and patient woman I have ever known.

Not a second goes by that I don’t miss her, but I know that if I live my life by her example that I will see her again. I find so much peace in knowing that she is always watching and protecting my little family.

I just hope to be half the woman she was.

I love you, Mama. I love you sooo much. With a sugar and a peck and a hug around the neck.

Filed Under: Faith, grief, My Mom, This is Us

Finding Your Vision (being awake to life)

May 3, 2012 | posted by Jaima @ Ring Around the Rosies | 4 Comments

I am so honored to have one of my mentors guest posting for you all today. You gals don’t know what a privilege this is. I have been working with Sarah for almost 8 months now, and she is so incredible! She is one of the reasons this year has already been so great for me. She has challenged me to be the mom and wife and business owner that I have always wanted to be, but wasn’t. Now that I have a clear vision, Sarah’s guidance, and the Lord’s grace – I am successfully becoming the woman I want to be!

Take it from here, Sarah.

***

If I asked you why you do what you do, could you answer me?

If you are like many women, you had a vision for your life when you were younger and you worked hard to get there. You studied hard, found a great job. Maybe you always knew you wanted to be a Mom and you went for it. Like many of us, you have seen those goals come into being in one way or another.

So do you know WHY you are a mom, a working mom, an entrepreneur, an employee? What is it about DOING these things that brings you joy? Do they bring you joy?

Maybe you haven’t thought about this before. Part of being awake to life is being completely aware of what you want and living in a way that helps you accomplish this.

So let’s do a little exercise together:
I am a mom because:
I work because:
I work at this job because:
I stay at home and care for my children because:

Now, I am not looking for, “I work at Starbucks because it pays the bills.” and if that is your answer and you continue to find yourself with answers like that I want to challenge you to think BIGGER for yourself. Living a life working just to pay the bills is suffocating.

You are meant for so much more.

I’ll answer one for you. I am an entrepreneur because: I want to help other women reach their ultimate potential in this life. I want to lift them up and create so much positive energy that we begin to change the world. I want to show my boys that anyone can do what they want and make it if they make a choice to. I chose to do this while staying home with my boys because I want to show them how to follow their dreams so they go on to shine brightly.

If you find yourself stuck which happens to everyone from time to time, it sure happened to me!

I want to invite you to my seminar. Please come, you owe it to yourself.

www.sarahfinks.com

***

I don’t think I have anything that needs to be added. Please visit Sarah’s site for lots of great inspiring posts, and follow her on facebook for daily insights and motivation.

Filed Under: Faith, guest post, This is Us, wahm

why I deleted facebook {and some thoughts to chew on}

bitter-sweet days

thankful

sunday

vegas bound {with excitement and worry}

bring the rain

truth is

on my heart

mama

Finding Your Vision (being awake to life)

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