This is probably the hardest post I’ve ever had to write. I have been putting it off for weeks!
It is no secret that I have battled my weight my entire life. It was pretty inevitable that I would always be “big”. I was always the “cute, but chunky girl” in school. My Dad is no less than 300lb at 6 foot tall, and my mom weighed almost that much my senior year in high school. She was only 5 foot tall. My mom was also born disabled. She had a crippling bone and hip disease. Her weight clearly didn’t help matters. She could hardly walk around my college campus on tour day (actually, she didn’t). I was embarrassed, she was embarrassed. And I knew I never wanted to get to that point. With the help of surgery, mom was able to turn her life around later that year. She lost over 100 pounds, and could finally semi-live the life she wanted to live, and shop at places other than Lane Bryant (she was a fashion diva)!
But again, I don’t want to get to that point.
Sadly, I find myself on my way there. I gained almost 70 pounds when I was pregnant with Elizabeth. SEVENTY. I had this whole goal of staying fit and doing the yoga and pilates videos I bought for mommys to be. And then I got hit with all day morning sickness. And then I lost mom & CJ, moved 1000 miles, completed renovated a house to move into…. blah blah blah.
I’ve only lost about 30 pounds in the 26 months she’s been born. I exclusively breastfed everything. I have done on and off exercise programs and have been running 6-12 miles a week since May. The weight is still there.
Why? because of that “on and off”. And, because I haven’t made a lot of changes in my diet. I justify everything I put in my mouth by saying, “oh, it’s organic so it’s healthy” or, “I can’t let it go to waste”, or “well, if I finish it tonight, it won’t be there to tempt me tomorrow”.
God bless my parents, they were great, but one thing neither of them had was will-power or self-control. Not an ounce. I was never taught those things as a child. My mom was addicted to food and shopping. My dad was addicted to alcohol.
But finally, enough is enough. I am sick and tired of being uncomfortable. I am sick and tired of having a closet-full of prebaby clothes I still can’t wear. I’m sick and tired of letting my size self-consciously stop me from doing things (even getting in front of the camera to do video posts for you). I am sick and tired of having to start all over because I don’t stick with my exercise routine. I am sick and tired of feeling like my husband deserves so much better. I am sick and tired of putting myself last. I am sick and tired of having a “pretty face”, and a less than pretty body. I am sick and tired of the fears that Elizabeth won’t have her mommy because her mommy didn’t take care of herself. I am sick and tired of being another statistic in America’s war on obesity!
I refuse to be sick and tired any longer. I will become my own walking billboard. I will show Elizabeth self-control and will-power! I will prove to her that anything is possible with hard work. I will give my husband the “hot” wife he deserves, and most of all, I will bless them both with a long-living, healthy mama and wife!
Enter: Project Transformation!
I have decided that since our life is finally back on track, that I will focus more energy on me! It is my goal to lose 78lb before August 1, 2013. Don’t freak out, I know that sounds like a lot of weight, but it is least I need to lose to be right where I need to be for a “normal” BMI.
I will be sharing much much more about my why and how in a later post
(I’m telling you, this is hard stuff to share)!
I can tell you that I plan on using my own Shaklee Cinch products to fuel my “diet”. And I will be exercising at least 30 minutes a day for 6 days a week. You already know I love the products. I just have to stick with the “Cinch Plan” and NOT the “Jaima Plan”. If you would like to join me, they are actually having a huge special right now (buy 3 months, get the 4th month free)! Email me for extra product specials exclusive for the transform project!
Be sure to follow me on facebook so that you catch all of my upcoming posts about this! I have a lot to share with you! A lot of good things! Including how I can help you start your own transformation!
Jamia that was beautiful! Very well written, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes! You can do this!! And you are such an amazing role model to Elizabeth, and your husband HAS the woman he deserves already, life is just going to keep getting better for you! I’m so happy to call you my friend.
Love it! You are such an inspiring person, Jaima! I’ve had a lot of the same excuses too. Especially, “if I eat it now it won’t be there to tempt me tomorrow”. Then tomorrow comes and we end up getting more crap food. I’ll be doing Project Transform as well!
I’m right there with you, my friend! We can do it!
YES, we can!!! We are!!! You’ve lost a ton already!
Love this post Jaima! So much of it resonates with me and I am right there with you. Today was my first day of staying strict on cinch and I’m praying I can keep it up. You are a true inspiration!
Hey, I read your post and I have the same problem. That is also around the same amount of weight I need to lose to be “healthy”. If you are looking at someone to do it with I would love to help you and we can do it together. We could email each other each day or a couple days a week and keep each other honest. If this is something you would like to do, if not I totally understand. Thanks
Absolutely! I need all the support I can get!
Simply said, I love you. You inspire me.
(pleasse excuse spellign… MS caussing probs with vision)
That mya haev bee nhard for you to write.. but it wsa so welll writtne and you can feel yourr strengtth comign through it. It seeems like you diddnt only wrrite this fro you because otherr peoplle who commeneted feel your pain. I, liek many of yuo, havee my own excusses… and it’s sda nad i need to stop. I’m 43 and I havve 3 aamizg daughhter and 2 step-daughtters. I watch wwhhat they eat and keeep them active.. .but donn’t I deservve to treat myself like that. Yes, I do..!! Especiiall y now.. the MS makkes it hardder for me ot move and becausee of htat I have ot movve more and losee weightt now befoore the MS gets worrse.
Thankk you, thatnk you so muhhc for writting this…. it’s motivattion for many. I wishh you all the luck and strenghht.
thank you so much for your comment! Yes, we ALL deserve to treat ourselves well! Nobody will do it for us! Blessings and hugs!
Congratulations on the start of your journey! putting on the running/exercise clothes is the hardest part and you’ve accomplished that! I recently went through my own “transformation” and I believe diet is key! I also used a calorie counter called body bugg! Research it because it was amazing for me! It became a game to beat the “clock” (or calorie counter) everyday! Email me if you’re interested in more information. I do not sell them and have no benefit should you choose to use it! I simply want to share what helped me lose 35 lbs in a healthy way! Good luck to you!!
I know that was hard to share, but I’m totally proud of you! Excited to follow along on your transformation. I’m transforming too!
Blessings!
Jaima that was a wonderfully written and inspiring confession! I have always struggled with my weight and also have the “genes” that doom my success. I spent 27 years in the military and boy was it hard sometimes meeting their weight goals (which btw are utterly ridiculous). I look back at pictures when I was thinner (although I thought I was fat, size 8 shouldn’t be fat) and most times when I was thinner it was because I was going through horrible stressful times. Sure I looked good but inside I was dying. I am now 50 years old and although I am conscious of what I put in my mouth, I don’t care so much about my outward appearance. I have accepted the fact that I am a beautiful person inside and people love me for that. The ones who are attracted to beauty on the outside most likely never appreciate the wonder of a beautiful soul. I don’t know you but like many of your followers I know that you are a beautiful person! We don’t keep up with you because of how “hot” you are
I know, I know…it’s hard to accept and I used to be guilty of it as well. Maybe it’s my age, hard to say, but you just be YOU….you are loved by many! Please don’t be too hard on yourself. You have soooo much going for you and you work hard! xoxo
Great Share!
I too am on the healthy train.
Not as fulltime as I would like either, but I am trying, everyday, to make healthier choices.
I had a rollercoaster year last year. My sister died of cancer and I helped take care of her for basically 6 months, thus not taking care of myself AT ALL. I gained at least 15 lbs in that short period of time. I also decided to stay at home almost 2 years ago and it has done NOTHING for my weight, YIKES! Gaining about 30 -35 lbs all together in those 2 years.
I am a highly emotional eater, not binge, just grazing all day long to keep that food “high”.
The only thing that has stayed high, is my weight.
And now that is what I am working on.
My goal, 52 lbs in 52 weeks. This will not get me to my goal, but I figure it is a reasonable goal. 1 lb a week.
I have incorporated CINCH into my diet and I really like it
Now I have to start exercising, because I hate it. Even though, it makes me feel better, go figure
I have so much to be and feel blessed about, so now I want to bless myself and my body and just be healthy. For me. For my daughter. For my husband. Because I, like you, need to BE HERE for them!
Looking forward to reading your journey side by side mine.
Jaima, You are such an inspiration and I am so grateful to have met you! I too struggle with keeping up a healthy (food) lifestyle, and exercise. I always revert back to the “good” stuff lol I am with you! xoxo
I totally know the feeling of what you’re going through. With each baby I had I gained more and more weight and got more and more sick. Then i found out that I had an overgrowth of yeast and needed to purge my body of all the toxins in it. Simple weightloss programs had failed at that point, I had to do something drastic. On top of all that, I found out that I’m intolerant to A LOT! Eggs, yeast, gluten, dairy, pineapple, soy,and broccoli. But now that I have eliminated all of those things my body has naturally gone to the way it should, I have lost loads of weight, and I haven’t even been exercising (although I should be, lol)! I’m no longer sick and I feel sooo confident it’s amazing! I am very pleased with my results.
So happy to hear that you are feeling better! Glad you got it all figured out
Jaima, You can do it!!!! I have lost 54 pounds since January 2012. It wasn’t always a “quick” loss and it was never easy, BUT it is sooooo worth it! As the weight began coming off, it became the incentive to keep going! I still have about 40 pounds left to go but am committed to finishing and reaching my goal. You are right…consistency is key! You will do well!
Way to go, Julia! That’s awesome! You’re over halfway there!
Two things that have helped me that I want to share with you — getting a FitBit (fancy pedometer that synchs with the web) and keeping a food diary, which you can do right on the fitbit website. It has cut a lot of my self delusions — “I didn’t eat TOO badly today” “I think I was very active!” At the end of the day my goal is to have walked 10,000 steps and logged everything I ate. It is accountability. If it is midday and you are still at 3500 steps you know you better get out there for a walk or run or you’ll never make it to 10,000. Best of luck- it’s hard to confront these personal things for all to see, so good for you!!
I too have started a healthy journey. I started Sep 10, and by Sep 9, 2012 I plan to be 100 pounds lighter. This is just a start because when I weighed in on day 1 I was 356 pounds. I’m tired of not being able to do the things I want and love. To be a healthy BMI I need to weigh almost 200 pounds less than I currently do. I have a long journey ahead of me and a lot of changes to make in my life, but I’ve finally recognized that I’m worth it and my children deserve to have a healthy mom who will be around for many years. Good luck on your journey Jaima. Know that there are many of us out there on the same journey.
Thank you so much for sharing! I know you can do it!!! Each small change will make a BIG difference! You may not think so right away, but it will!!!
Thanks for sharing your heart, soul and hurts with your readers. So many of us have the weight struggle. I found this Dr. Phil quote that I made as my screen saver on my iPad. Helps me to see it multiple times per day. “Change can come in either of two important ways: Start behaving positively or stop behaving negatively.”
Thank you so much for posting! It almost seemed like I was writing this post. What really got me was the “Hot Wife” comment. I have been saying the same thing about myself for a long time, everytime I go to lose the weight, my “bad” side comes right back and says “your going to gain it back anyway, just eat it now” or “you will never get pretty” then I go right back in the hole of over eating and eating candy.
On Monday I read an ecard that said “If you hate starting over, then stop giving up” I then decided that I wasn’t going to give up anymore. I was feeling a little low today and I seen your post, I am so glad I read it. I am going to print it out and put it in my Weight Loss Journey journal for inspiration. I am also going to follow your transformation. Good luck! and Thanks again for posting! *HuGs*
This was a beautiful blog entry, I loved hearing your story. I too have always had problems with my weight all my life. When I had my first daughter I gained a good 30-35 lbs and have honestly never gotten it off. Then I had gall bladder surgery and for some reason unknown right after that I gained another 30-40lbs on top of that. I am now on my weight loss journey since my dr told me my liver results were abnormal because of fatty liver disease. It has been so hard and I have only lost 13 lbs. I am also having problems with my on again off again diet & exercise. I wish you luck in your journey and I can’t wait to follow you through it!
Jaima you are an inspriation to all of us!! I am right there with ya. My whole life I have been the big girl and have struggled with being healthy. My mom has always had weight issues too. We both struggle with not only our physical weight, but also eating healthy and taking care of ourselves. Now that I am a mom myself, I see how your kids become your proiroty and you stop taking care of yourself. The problem with that is partents are are child’s role model, and if they don’t take care of themselves, how do the childen ever learn to do the same. We are trying to change our lives and set a good example for our little boy, so that he never has to grow up with these same issues. I have 70 lbs to lose and hubs has close to 200 lbs to lose, to get into the “normal” range. I would love to do this journey with you!
Let’s all do it together!I know I need all the support I can get!
I need to do the same thing. How long can I say “I quit smoking and had babies”? That was 11 years ago. lol I need a constant push, thanks for letting us follow your journey. I hope to join you.
I am in the same boat! I also gained SEVENTY pounds when I was pregnant (she is now 9.5 months) and I lost 30 pretty easily, then another 20 or so, but have since put most of it back on. I work full time and now have Mom to add to the job duties so finding time to work out (and the desire) is difficult. You can do it! We call can!
Way to go! I gained 66 with my first and 40+ with the other two! Its hard to get it off! I finally got serious last July and lost the weight. Im now 20 lbs lighter than my prepregnancy weight! If I can do it anyone can!
I love this post. I too have stuggled because I was never taught self control. I was thin in high school and then gained 30 pounds even before my first child!! I would say my total non-pregnant weight gain was about 50 lbs and I am now happy to report that after baby #2 I have lost 55 lbs and am smaller than when I was in high school. Even though I struggle with maintaining I have taught myself good habits and enjoy the satisfaction of slipping on a size 4 instead of a size 16. You can do it. I know you can. Just don’t let one choice dictate the next choice you make. Just because you ate a cookie after breakfast does not mean the day is lost. It’s 100 extra calories to burn later. It’s not easy but it is totally doable! We started a healthy eating blog with a bunch of the recipes we tried. We tried to focus on having things that we like but making them healthy.Check it out and let me know if you need a parter in crime! Good luck!!
Brook Mann
http://www.mightaswelleathealthy.blogspot.com