Today is one of those days that’s harder than others.
It’s the kind of day you start with tears before you ever get out of bed.
It’s bitter-sweet and makes me feel selfish. And sad. And angry. And maybe even a little joyful.
Selfish for wanting it to be different. Sad for wanting it to not be true. Angry because it is.
Joyful, because I know she’s reached her destiny. The eternal place where she can finally be pain free after 50 years. The eternal place where nobody can disappoint her. The eternal place with her only son she took with her, her parents, her grandparents, and so many aunts, uncles, cousins, and babies she never got to hold. And the grandbaby we never held.
Today is one of those days that’s harder than others.
Mom would be celebrating her 52nd birthday. I would have purple roses special delivered to her house. Elizabeth would’ve made a handmade card like she has for everyone else this year. It would be a happy day.
I’m sososo thankful that for her 50th birthday – her last birthday. We drove 32 hours in 3 days time to surprise her. Thankful that I was able to gather all of the people whom loved her most and show her how much she was appreciated and loved. Thankful that we could all get together one final time before we had to meet for the most tragic day of our lives, a mere 2 months and 10 days later. It was the last full day I spent with her.
It was the day she suspected I was pregnant before I even knew I was. It was a day you can read all about.
Happy Birthday, Mama. I still can’t believe you’re gone. I can’t fathom how different things would be if you were here. But I am thankful that you have to suffer no more. And I am comforted by your presence every single day. It makes my heart so happy when Elizabeth exclaims “BaaBaa” when she sees your picture. I know you always hated how the purple roses died, but I know how happy they made you for a few days. I’m sure your day is filled with them. Elizabeth & I are coming to “visit” you today…
I love you, Mama. With a sugar and a peck and a hug around the neck.
Oh this is such a heart touching story.
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Bless your precious heart sweetie.
I am so sorry for your loss.
It's so special that you still remember her special day.
♥Jazmin
aw … my thoughts and prayers are with you today … what a sweet post though .. and i can see how much you loved your momma!
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