1 Year Old Elizabeth

Elizabeth Ann, my beautiful one year old Mini,

I simply cannot believe how fast your first year flew by and how quickly you have changed from a teeny tiny 7lb swaddled baby into an energetic 19lb toddling li’l girl. I have absolutely loved being able to enjoy nearly every second of your first year with you. It has been one of the biggest blessings I’ve ever been given, and it is my hope that you have enjoyed it and will forever be changed by our times together as I have.

Changed me, you have for sure done. You have changed almost every aspect of my life. From the way I look at life to the way I appreciate it, and the way I make every choice. Even li’l everyday ones like what to eat for lunch. I have prayed my whole life, but I have never in my life prayed for something as much as I pray for you.

Bean, I cannot express how much I love you. Not even in the tightest squeezes can you possibly feel what’s in my heart. Some days it is so overfilled with love and passion and happiness that it physically hurts. I know I tell you all day and that “Goodnight, My Princess, I love you” is always the very last thing you hear at night, but I don’t think there’s anyway for you to feel it until you become a Mommy yourself. I always knew my Mama loved me, but never understood the extent of it ’til God gave me you.

It is my greatest fear, and constant worry, that something terrible will happen to you. But it is often trumped by the fear of something happening to me. I read just yesterday this terrible story of how a family lost their 3 year old princess, and I’ve been so sad ever since. But, I know I am strong. And, I also know what the hurt feels like to lose your Mommy, and because I love you so much, I hope you never have to experience that hurt.

God forbid something should happen to me, LizzyBean, I hope and pray that you know I love you. I want you to know that I will always be with you, just as your BB is always with me. God will allow you to feel me just as He does for me, so please don’t be scared. It will hurt, very bad, but know that it can be somewhat defeated by lots of prayer. God will wrap His huge arms around you and protect you. For I know that somehow His love for you is greater than my love for you, which is unbelievable. If something should happen, please always follow your heart. Chase your own dreams, and don’t live your life for anyone other than God. Allow him to be your number one, and anything will be achievable. Trust me. I pray that one day you will find a man as great as your Daddy and that you will love each other as much as your Daddy & I love each other. And then, when God’s timing is right, may he bless you with a blessing like He gave me.

But until that day, I will always live everyday with you as if it’s one of our last. Full of tickles and snuggles and songs. Full of giggles, snacks, and open-mouthed kisses.

I love you, my big blue-eyed one year old.

With a sugar and a peck and a hug around the neck,

Mama