I’ve always loved Christmas. The entire season that is now “christmas”. But this year was different.
Although, it was incredibly amazing celebrating El’s first Christmas. It was very stressful. I don’t know if it’s only because Mom has always done it all, and this was the real first Christmas
without her & CJ, or what, but it was hard.
I tried to keep all of the traditions alive. I baked cookies with Cayden (Faylynn is still a li’l too young), I went all out on the house, I made all of the usual treats, did most of the cooking (and even managed to catch my stove on fire in true Barbara Ann (mom) fashion), hosted Christmas dinner for Andrew’s family, attended Christmas Eve with Nanny & Dad’s family as is typical, went to Tania’s Christmas day to be with Mom’s family as usual, and read a Christmas book to Ms. E every night of December.
But it was hard.
I hope it’s just because I was just “not in the mood” for obvious reasons, but it was much different. The excitement and anticipation wasn’t here this year.
But it sure has my mind spinning as I took the last of the Christmas decorations down tonight. Perhaps I’m just exhausted from the work that it is to decorate and undecorate for the occasion. But, I think it’s something more. I think we have created a holiday that is so exaggerated few know the true meaning of Christmas. And that’s what I hate. We (as a general whole, not just me) focus 98% on “Santa” and the remaining measly 2% on the true reason. And again, I just hate it. Next year, I’m seriously considering going against Mom’s ways and only putting up one Christmas tree (she always had at least 4) and the nativity scene. I want Elizabeth to know whatit’s about. I want to spend as much time as we spend focusing on “Santa” and the commercialism that has become Christmas as I do on celebrating Christ and simply enjoy being together, celebrating His birth. And life. And death. So that in time, we can again reunite with Mom & CJ and spend the merriest of Christmases with him.
I had a hard time enjoying Christmas morning at Tania’s in the mountains of toys that all three kids received (and didn’t need) knowing that others woke up to none at all. And knowing that they could care less about the birth of Christ, for the sake of the new Baby Alive. Don’t get me wrong, it’s precious to watch their eyes in delight as they open presents, but I think there’s a point when kids don’t know what to play with first that is kind of kills it all. And, I know they’re still young (El is not quiet six months old even), but I don’t think it’s ever too soon to celebrate Christ’s birth instead of a fictional character.
So here I am thinking of how I can simplify the Christmases to come. How to arrange the focus to be on Christ’s birth and not so much on gifts from a fat guy in a red suit. I know I want to bake a birthday cake for Jesus. That’s something the kids can relate to and understand. But should I lie to El and try to make her believe in something that isn’t real such as Santa Claus?
How do you keep Christ is Christmas?
(Please don’t think I’m totally bah hum bug. I’m not, I’ve always lovedlovedloved Christmas. It’s always been my very favorite day of the year)