Normally, I hate making a list of all the stressors. But everyone has been asking what’s going on, where we’re living, how we are, etc. So, I figured I’d just let you all know at once.
*Warning* this will probably be crazy jumbled, as are all of my thoughts these days. Normal Jaima + Pregnant Brain + Lots of Things going on = insanely CRAZY Jaima!!!!!
Anyway…
So yeah, My Mom & C.J. were killed in a car accident on December 22 (yes, less then 48 hours from Christmas Eve).
Andrew & I had already talked about moving to Tennessee after we got pregnant because I didn’t want to take the blessing of grandkids away from my Mama & Daddy, or the blessing of grandparents away from li’l El because of how important mine were to me. But we weren’t sure we were going to yet. For one, as you all know, real estate stinks right now (if you’re on the selling end). For two, we both really love Woodbury and have thoroughly enjoyed having our own lives and family there. Alas, God had other plans. So as of February our home has been on the MLS Market because we’re moving to TN now to be with Dad. A few people have made inquiries, but nobody has put in an offer. We’re asking a ridiculous low amount (in my opinion) and it is in perfect condition, and is sooo darn cute! So, I’m not sure what’s going to happen.
Remember, Andrew & I lost our jobs in October, so money is crazy tight. We just put our last pennies from savings into checking to pay next months mortgage. Please please pray it sells quickly. I’m not sure what we’ll do if it doesn’t. We’ve considered renting just so we’re not paying the full mortgage and condo fee each month. Andrew just went back to CT today because he has drill the next 2 weekends. He borrowed an enclosed trailer from one of Dad’s friends in hopes of bringing the rest of our things back. He’ll be there until at least the 23rd. He hadn’t planned on coming back ’til May 17th, but there’s just so much to do. The many commutes back and forth are killing us too! It cost about $250 each way in gas.
We have decided to not live with Dad after all though. We’re going to live in my aunt & uncle’s old house. We’ve spent the last 2 weeks completely renovating it. And, we’re about halfway done with it, I think. It’ll be better for us I think. It’s only 1 1/4 mile from Dad’s, and this way we can have our own space, but still be really close. It’s too hard from going from a family of 2 with our own home to a family of 3 with 2 10×10 bedrooms (one of which you can’t see the floor or walls in right now and the other which already has a full set of furniture). This way if we want to watch our own tv while Dad watches his, we can. And, we don’t have to worry about Mom’s dog peeing all over our things (he’s got bad manners). I assured Dad I would still come by at least once a week to clean up and pay his bills and that I’d either have dinner here or he could come to our house.
Clearly, this hasn’t been an easy transition for any of us.
I mean, currently Andrew & I are living between the 3 places. We’re trying to pack up all of the things from our house, renovate our new house, move it all, clean out & up Mama’s house (she may have been a hoarder!), take care of all of our bills, dad’s bills, our chores in CT, chores around Dad’s house, …………………….. AHHH. The list seriously goes on and on and on. Like the “Lamb Chop” song.
And I’m 6 months pregnant.
What 24 year old loses their job the day they tell their boss they’re pregnant; loses their mom & brother both 2 days before Christmas; and tries to pack, sell, and move their home of 5 years 980 miles south to a house they are renovating ALL in their first 6 months of pregnancy?
Mixed in with that I’m having to deal with the hospitals, emergency services, insurance agencies (health, auto, and life), funeral home, etc… Mom’s medical bills alone added up to OVER $112,000.00. Yelp! And, we haven’t even been billed for her lifelight or visit to Baptist Hospital. Nor, have we even thought about buying headstones for their burial site.
And, I just have found an OB-GYN here and insurance (since we lost our jobs we lost all benefits including insurance making me depend on state insurance which isn’t covered here). So, it’s been since Feb that I saw a doctor. Thankfully, I go Thursday. I’m sure the dr won’t compare to my dr in CT – oh well. And, of course Andrew’s going to miss it. Ugh.
I seriously just want MY life back. I need routine – seriously bad. Not only did I lose my mom & brother, but pretty much my whole life (of which I’m currently sharing with a 2lb baby in my belly). I’m having to give up MY home (that Andrew & I have worked incredibly hard for & completely remodeled to make our own), Woodbury, and all of my family & friends there. And, my body back would be nice too. Not that I’m not enjoying being pregnant, because I really am.
Enough ranting. I’m sorry. Just like the song says that’s playing, “Bring me joy, bring me peace
bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings You glory. And I know there’ll be days when this life brings me pain, but if that’s what it takes to praise You, Jesus, bring the rain”.
And, I truly didn’t write this to receive sympathy. Just to let you all kind of know what’s going on. I truly am blessed beyond deserving. And, I realize that the life & memories I had in just my short 23 years with Mama & CJ were better than some ever get. We all sincerely appreciate all that has been done for our family in this terrible time. You’ll never know how much we thank you.
Love!





















Jaima, you have all the right to vent. You currently have all the major stressors one might have in a lifetime ( pregnancy, selling a house, loss of a parent, loss of a job, moving, etc.) and have had them occur in a short few months! It sounds like you have been handling it well. Just know the dark days have to end sometime! I will be praying for you and your family!
Oh, Jaima, I can't even imagine. Everything was "perfect" with my pregnancy, but it was still an overwhelming, emotional experience. As was losing my brother. And moving is so stressful. And we have never even had to make major renovations. So…to experience all those things at once (plus losing your mom) is totally crazy. I am amazed that you are still in one piece. Wow. Know that I will be praying for you. I wish I lived closer so that I could do more than pray–I wish I could physically help in some way! Greg and I love you!
Jaima, I have just found your website and am enjoying all the foods and reading. I wish I could tell you that the stress stops some day- after reading your post. I know it has been a few years now and I hope that you are not on the same stressful path!
I had a similar experience although everything in my world was sort of one notch down from the intensity of yours. I was the one in the car accident but me and the baby both came out fine. The baby’s dad lived somewhere else so I had to plan a move and re-arrange my life. Bad tenants forced me to sell my house after I had moved and was trying to put together this new family in a strange place. The bright spot in all of it is my son. I was told I couldn’t have kids so he is a blessing beyond belief. We have just moved back home and in with Grandma to renovate the house and try to get rid of some of her stuff. My Dad has been gone for 5 years and I am still getting rid of piles of auto magazines and things that were his.
I will keep reading the blog and hope that you have come thru shining at the other end. I am so sorry for the loss of your family and for the stress on the wee one. I like to think that my pregnancy stress didn’t do my son any harm, he is a happy and healthy three year old with more energy than I can keep up with. My hubby and I have been blessed with good jobs here and the opportunity to get back on our feet (hopefully with grace) and our family continues to evolve and become more of a unit.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and for being able to let people know that sometimes you are struggling. It isn’t complaining when it is all true and you just need someone to hear it. You aren’t asking for help or for anyone to change just railing a bit at circumstances that surround you. A very healthy thing to do. I commend you for it. Keep writing and one of these days I will catch up to the present!